A Reluctant Christmas

I’m not a fan of Christmas. That sounds awful. Let me clarify. I love the Christ story; the Son of God being born to a virgin in a stable with all of the animals surrounding him is beautiful. Tears well up every time I read Luke 2. It’s all the other stuff that I don’t care for.

The tree. The bows. The garland. The glitter, ohhh the glitter! They really are the herpes of crafting supplies. The red and green everything. Why are there monogrammed socks on my mantle? Santa, reindeers, the Elf on the Shelf. The general disruption to my regular household decorations/furniture arrangement really grinds my gears.

The relentless perfume commercials. The relentless everything commercials. Who gives a Lexus with a big red bow on it as a Christmas gift?! The traffic. We have the Internet! Amazon will bring your stuff in two days! And you don’t have to even leave the house! I thought this was common knowledge.

4 months of activity packed into 25 days. Don’t ask me to do anything. My calendar’s full. All of this forced merriment is exhausting!

These really are princess problems. I’m rereading this thinking, “People in other parts of the world would think I’m utterly spoiled to be complaining about this.” They’re right. I truly can’t see the forest for the [Christmas] trees.

However, I’ve had an epiphany, of sorts. Colored lights. I really like colored lights. I know, some people think they’re tacky. But I really love them. My neighborhood is awash in classy white lights and tasteful decorations. But I’ve chosen colored lights.

I stopped sending Christmas cards years ago. Too much work. I order all my gifts online. I put up fewer decorations this year than I have ever before. And what I do have up has colored lights on it. And I’m happy. I think I have found the sweet spot in a holiday that normally puts me in a stressed-out funk.

Simplicity. And colored lights.

Thanksgiving in March

Every year it’s the same thing. Spooky ghosts and ghouls are displayed on porches alongside carved pumpkins. Little kids run around neighborhoods dressed up as super heroes and princesses, pillowcases in hand, all jacked up on sugar. Then the next day, Ho, Ho, Ho, Santa Claus is coming to town! And Mattress King is having a 25% off sale to celebrate!

Wait! Remember Thanksgiving?!

Thanksgiving was a big deal when I was a kid. We celebrated it in school. We were taught that the pilgrims fled England in pursuit of religious freedom. That had it not been for the help of the Indians, all of the pilgrims would have died. We were taught to be thankful for their perseverance and their faithfulness. And we were taught to be thankful for what we have.

And we didn’t do this with a decorated Christmas tree in the background!

The problem with Thanksgiving is that it’s not a marketable holiday. You need a turkey, but they’re not terribly expensive. And one healthy bird can feed about 15 people.

And you can reuse your Halloween pumpkins for decoration, provided it didn’t already collapse from a heat-stroke on your front porch. And if you need to replace it, again, not that spendy.

Poor Thanksgiving. It’s been squeezed out by the man in red. We know it hasn’t been squeezed out by Jesus. Apparently we aren’t supposed to talk about Him anymore. I know this because I keep seeing ads for “holiday gifts” and “holiday cards” and “holiday decorations.”

I don’t think I’ve ever received a holiday gift. Nor have I ever given one.

Therefore, in order to preserve Thanksgiving, I move that we reschedule it to the first Tuesday in March. Nothing happens in March. It’s wide open. Thanksgiving will get the full glory it deserves!

Because we can’t seem to squeeze in time on a Thursday in November to stop buying things and be thankful for what we have.